ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED ON THE HORROR HOTHOUSE REVIEW
Catacombs (2007) review
When Luke (aka SlappySquirrel) told me that P!nk was in a horror movie, I metaphorically spat my coffee out. P!nk, pop-rock star, in a horror movie, set in the catacombs. No way! Without further ado, we put the movie on, sat back and pondered whether we would have gone to the catacombs if we had seen this movie before we actually went earlier this year.
The plot is as follows: Victoria (Shannyn Sossamon), a young and somewhat troubled (not to mention annoying) American woman, goes to the City Of Light, Paris, to visit her sister, Carolyn (P!nk/Alecia Moore) , who lives there – “it’ll do her some good”, apparently. Within 48 hours of her touching down in the city, her sister and all of the people she met there are dead. On her first night in Paris, she goes to a party with her sister and her housemates. Not just any old party, oh no, an illegal rave in the catacombs. For those of you who haven’t heard of the ‘Catacombes de Paris”, it is in underground mass crypt, that holds the remains of around 6 million people. It takes the terrifying format of hundreds of darkened tunnels decorated with the bones of the dead. Truly the perfect setting for a horror film, when you think about it. Deep down underground, we learn of a somewhat horrific story about the Cult of the Black Virgin and the man/demon they created that roams the catacombs, looking for human flesh to feed on – and God knows what else. Sure enough, soon our annoying and mostly pathetic final girl is under hot pursuit from said demon (in a dead goat mask) and she must fight for survival as she tries to make her way out of the ‘tombs.